昔、造った物達

昨日久しぶりに陶芸教室にいった。
この陶芸教室は家から徒歩で行ける距離にあって、そしてサバナ市営なので受講料もフレンドリーである。
東京に住んでいたときに通っていた陶芸教室を４月に辞めてからもう既に５ヶ月も経過してしまった。東京ではハンドビルディングのクラスだったから、粘土を紐状にして作りあげていく紐造り、または粘土を玉のようにしてから中を開け高さを加えていく玉造りなどの各種の手法を習った。

今回サインアップしたクラスはろくろを使って陶器を作るクラスだ、そしてコミュニティークラスだからか基本的に自由制作。
自由制作は私の造りたい物が実際に造れる機会ではあるけど、今の自分には自由制作できるだけの技量がない。大切にしたいのはこの時間を自分にとって有意義ある時間にしたいということ、そしてそのために「まず計画を立てよう」そして「なにがしたいのか明確にしよう」と思う。

















大学２年生のとき選択科目で陶芸クラスを取る機会があった。そのとき以来ろくろを使うことなどなかった。そのせいか、結構色々と詳細な手順を忘れていた事に改めて気づいた。そして何よりもショックだったのは粘土をろくろの中心にあわせる感覚が摑めない。一度習得した感覚を失ったと確信したときは井戸の底に落ちていくよう。ただ葛藤と余分な力だけが手に入る。
周りを見回すと、半数はさくさくと器らしきものを造っていて、半数は私と同じように粘土とともに回転運動をしている。
そして私の前に座っているおばさんはもう既にギブアップしてしまったか、粘土とともに放恣状態なままそこに座っている。そして先生はそんな彼女に「楽しまなきゃ」といって丁寧に手取り足取り救いの手を差し伸べている。
私はそんな状況を片目で観察し、もう反方の目で、どうしようもないくらいオフセンターに回転している粘土を見つめながら。。。このクラス（ろくろ初心者クラス）に登録したときから、「初心の気持ちでまた陶芸を始めよう」とおもっていとたことを思い出し、頭を切り替え、気を取り直し、再度挑戦！！

そして今は昨夜の感覚と経験が体と頭に鮮明に残っていて、水曜日が待ちどうしくてたまらない。
確実に週１ペースじゃ物足りない。
今回はもう登録期間がすぎてしまったからもう一つクラスを加える事はできないけど、次回は週２回にしようかな。。。と思案中。

※写真は大学生時代に造ったもの

ceramics

It's been a while...
both adding a new entry to my blog and being muddy.

My hair, arms, and the bottom of my pants are covered with splashed clay chunks and I feel great!!
I'd been away from playing with clay for a while and tonight was my first ceramic class since last April.
Although I had occasional wedging practice with biscuit dough, officially it's already been 5 months since the last time I even felt clay.
I made sure my husband knew my classes would begin tonight by reminding him almost everyday so he wouldn't make any plans on wednesdays. I was counting the days and hours to go to the class.

I was exhilarated (and still am) and simultanously nervous and scared because I knew I had to face the fact my skill in ceramics must have been detoriated. Not to mention the last time I made anything on the wheel was in college and it was quite a long ago.

There were 8 of us in my class and they were all women of various age groups. They are nice and some of them were very chatty which emphasized an idea of the community art class atmosphere and created a very friendly environment. The class is titled as "beginning wheel" but my instructor basically let everyone have their own time and pace. There was no set of assignments or objective goals for the class like my other classes in Tokyo. So there were some people that were making 3-4 bowls already while the others were still struggling to center their chunk of clay on the wheel.

It took me 2 bowls to center the clay on the wheel. From distractions or unbalanced forces put by my hands, the clay would go back to a wobbly motion. The combination of the right amount of force and concentration I can achieve the instant moment of ultimate centering. It is the most quiet moment physically and mentally and right at the moment I have to let my hands go...

It seemed to me, once this quiet moment is acheived I can't keep from putting my hands on the clay to maintain the centering. But if I overdo this process it leads me to elsewhere. I lose the balance and then the clay and I begin to battle like a whirlpool.
There is no hope in fixing the clay at that point so I can only reset my mind and re-start the whole process over again.

It sounds really banal of me to say "I am working with clay as if it is some sort of a live creature, moving the clay gently with my fingers and palms."

But it's obvious to me that I have learned from my experience tonight and tonight's experience reassured me that I can't always fix things forcefully. I think working with clay is teaching me to work in consolidation not only with clay but also with other things in my life. (at least this practice is a good reminder of that)

There is so much more to learn about myself in relation to the world I live. Learning about myself through art making is the most invigorating activity that I've known.

So, it seems like wednesdays are going to be my favorite day of the week for a while.