ceramics

It's been a while...
both adding a new entry to my blog and being muddy.

My hair, arms, and the bottom of my pants are covered with splashed clay chunks and I feel great!!
I'd been away from playing with clay for a while and tonight was my first ceramic class since last April.
Although I had occasional wedging practice with biscuit dough, officially it's already been 5 months since the last time I even felt clay.
I made sure my husband knew my classes would begin tonight by reminding him almost everyday so he wouldn't make any plans on wednesdays. I was counting the days and hours to go to the class.

I was exhilarated (and still am) and simultanously nervous and scared because I knew I had to face the fact my skill in ceramics must have been detoriated. Not to mention the last time I made anything on the wheel was in college and it was quite a long ago.

There were 8 of us in my class and they were all women of various age groups. They are nice and some of them were very chatty which emphasized an idea of the community art class atmosphere and created a very friendly environment. The class is titled as "beginning wheel" but my instructor basically let everyone have their own time and pace. There was no set of assignments or objective goals for the class like my other classes in Tokyo. So there were some people that were making 3-4 bowls already while the others were still struggling to center their chunk of clay on the wheel.

It took me 2 bowls to center the clay on the wheel. From distractions or unbalanced forces put by my hands, the clay would go back to a wobbly motion. The combination of the right amount of force and concentration I can achieve the instant moment of ultimate centering. It is the most quiet moment physically and mentally and right at the moment I have to let my hands go...

It seemed to me, once this quiet moment is acheived I can't keep from putting my hands on the clay to maintain the centering. But if I overdo this process it leads me to elsewhere. I lose the balance and then the clay and I begin to battle like a whirlpool.
There is no hope in fixing the clay at that point so I can only reset my mind and re-start the whole process over again.

It sounds really banal of me to say "I am working with clay as if it is some sort of a live creature, moving the clay gently with my fingers and palms."

But it's obvious to me that I have learned from my experience tonight and tonight's experience reassured me that I can't always fix things forcefully. I think working with clay is teaching me to work in consolidation not only with clay but also with other things in my life. (at least this practice is a good reminder of that)

There is so much more to learn about myself in relation to the world I live. Learning about myself through art making is the most invigorating activity that I've known.

So, it seems like wednesdays are going to be my favorite day of the week for a while.